You Boys Play Games Very Well - Chapter 80
Chapter 80
The new episode of “I’m Not Black Powder” had been popular since the trailer, with the 30 seconds of short video being reposted more than 4000 times. The producer had expected that the episode would explode, but didn’t expect it to be popular before it even aired.
Because Ling Meng was infamous as a hated player, previously he became even more popular when streaming. After the broadcast where people found out that his real life appearance looked like someone you couldn’t hate, in everyone’s mind, his attributes to scold him over turned into his meng attributes.
Such a hated MengMeng (CuteCute, not his normal nickname) would now face off in a real life battle with resentful pro players; was it the awe-inspiring Lemon Dad who would once again shake the entire country or would he be beaten up by the pros? His job was the day’s hot topic for the Galaxy players.
Waiting until the episode was live, many Galaxy anchors didn’t even play the game, dedicating their stream to refreshing the official channel with the water friends in each broadcast room also typing out “hahahaha” in advance, ready to send it out.
Even Shan Zhu was on half an hour ahead of schedule, and he even turned the camera on in good faith, using the huge popularity of his own live broadcast to increase the exposure of the first viewing of Ling Meng’s interview show.
Only Ling Meng’s face with an indifferent face mercilessly rejected the water friends’ request for a change in channel: “Why do you want to look at, it’s not good at all, I’m not watching, you all can’t either.”
However, this also didn’t affect the online screening. Next to him, Shan Zhu’s shoulders shuddered in laughter every now and then. The Ling Meng with a lying mouth but an honest body3 sneaked a glance over several times, wondering which one of the interviews was making him so happy.
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The first stop of Ling Meng’s interview was the VEGETABLE team.
“Hello, I’m from the “I’m Not Black Powder” show, can I interrupt you for a few minutes?”
Shan Yao, who was playing the game, looked back: “Sister-in-4….”
“Call me Lemon!”
Shan Yao endured with a forced smile: “Lemon, hello.”
The special effects team added fuel to the fire and photoshopped Shan Yao with sweat drop and the message: That was dangerous, almost let it leak.
“So it turned out you’re the one in charge of the interview for this program.”
Ling Meng: ?
“No, this is my first shift……what, you haven’t been on this show before?”
“How could that be, I’m a regular.”
“Then how come you don’t even know who the interviewer is?”
“Previously, I’ve seen him come wearing a helmet.”
Ling Meng: ???
Ling Meng: !!!
“Then why didn’t the show staff give it to me?!”
“They probably don’t think of you as a human being.”
Later, the effects team added a Ling Meng photoshop, including a steel helmet: Alright, alright, here you are.
Shan Yao introduced himself on camera: “Hello, everyone, I am Team VEGETABLE’s Yam.”
Ling Meng calmed down from his panic and lowered his head to study the black comment card in his hand: “Yam, you have played for four seasons and have taken second place three times. Is two your lucky number, if you don’t mind answering?”
“Actually, my lucky number is one. As for why second place three times, I think……maybe it’s because I’ve been doubly lucky before, one plus one equals two. When I’m just normally lucky one day, I will take first place.”
[Really good math.gif]
“Rumor has it that the TUBERPLANT team offered 10 million to buy your contract, why didn’t you transfer, do you not value money?”
“Because they promised a down payment of 500,000 and the remaining 9.5 million would be paid in equivalent installments of potatoes. I didn’t think I could eat that many potatoes in my whole life, so I turned it down.”
[Shan Yao buried by potatoes.gif]
Ling Meng was stunned: “Is that true?”
“Of course it’s fake. That’s a rumor, people who believe it should eat more potatoes and protect their IQ.”
[An arrow pointing to Ling Meng: Naive.]
Ling Meng: “All charm, no substance, if this was the evaluation value, you would already be Galaxy Pro League Champion.”
Shan Yao: “Is that really what black powder says? True love powder are embarrassed to blow like that.”
Ling Meng: “Don’t pursue unrealistic championship dreams, retire as an anchor and I’ll support you.”
Shan Yao: “I’ll sell songhua cakes, you’ll steal an electric vehicle5? I’ll think about it.”
Ling Meng: “Team VEGE forbids players from falling in love, this directly limits the development of you and me.”
Shan Yao: “On behalf of the team’s top management, I’m deeply sorry for your loss.”
[Really a huge letdown.avi]
“You’re older than Banana, but have never won SOLO against him, don’t you feel humiliated?”
“Although I’m older than him, he’s went pro before I did, so he’s kind of my qianbei6. It’s natural for houbei to lose to their qianbei. But there’s also a saying that’s good: the rear waves of the Yangtze River drive on those before and the front wave dies on the beach7. I’ll keep trying.”
Ling Meng reminded him in friendly manner: “But since Xiang God is younger, his wave may be longer than yours.”
“The age of pro players is important, but the status is almost important too. At least my current status is on the rise. You can’t look up to him just because he was more powder and he is more obvious as your powder. I’m also your hidden powder. Is that e-sports chair still comfortable to sit in?”
“Comfortable……I’m just a little temporary reporter, what are you bribing me to do!”
Shan Zhu smiled in reply: “To get you to blow me when you interview him next time.”
The second person interviewed was Pineapple.
“Hello~~ I’m Pineapple-chan from Team Fruit, be familiar with me! I’m still a Lemon Daddy powder. Thanks to Lemon Dad for bringing me joy after game training!”
“…….don’t talk about that. Getting straight to the point: You love to cry. When you win, you cry; when you lose, you cry. Is this black evaluation going to make you cry?”
“I had just been chosen as a regular in my first season, our team was on a bad losing streak, so there was a lot of Fruit powder who thought I should carry the blame. When I opened Weibo, 99 out of 100 comments said I wasn’t fit to play pro and said that I faked my crying after losses. That was the first time and only time I ever cried because of criticism.”
[Pineapple-chan’s pitifully cute crying.gif]
“And then you grew up?”
“No. After that, I uninstalled Weibo.”
Ling Meng: …….
[Weibo’s pitifully cute crying.gif]
“No one can beat you 1V1, you can only be used as a dog for Banana in 5V5.”
“I have to clarify! First of all, it’s a coaching team tactic. Most of the time, I’m in charge of acting as bait or going forward to flaunt myself as a distraction a lot! Second, do you think the captain would be a dog for me?!” Bo Luo said with an expression of horror. Ling Meng thought for a moment and then shivered.
[Dog Pineapple-chan’s barking.gif]
“A pro who often falls from the cosmic god rank.”
“I need to clarify that, too! Everyone else usually goes SOLO to single rank, but I like to single rank 3V3 or 5V5. These matches aren’t ones where a person can carry, and besides, I often run into anchors!”
“Then why do you have to queue up like that?” Ling Meng interrupted and asked.
“Because I love the unknown nature of the game!”
Ling Meng: ……you’re just idle =.=
“But there should be less of this in the future because of the new team rules. At the end of the month, cosmic god rank or deduction of wages, so everyone will only be able to snipe me in the cosmic god rank in the future!”
[RMB’s pitifully cute crying.gif]
Ling Meng: “Galaxy League Kindergarten Cup League Champion.”
Bo Luo: “I will stay number one at that for a lifetime!”
Ling Meng: “Xiang God’s expression translator.”
Bo Luo: “Eh? Is that a thing? I think the captain’s expressions are pretty colorful.”
[Indifferent Xiang Jiao.jpg]
“The only reason you work hard at being pro is your fear of Banana.”
“Well, our captain, he has been fierce for a really long time. I remember when I first added his Weibo, whenever I chatted to him, he sent back to me ‘…’ or ‘oh’. It seemed like he’d be hard to get along with, but, of course, it’s much better now.”
“Did you get more of a response after you got to know him?”
“No, sometimes he goes back to that and just sends your expression pack, so I’m feeling more affinity to him.”
Ling Meng: ……why do I have to keep questioning this guy.
[You boys play games very well, oh~.gif]
“Last one: In the future, please don’t sing when live.”
“About this one, I think it’s my fans who don’t know how to appreciate it. If you don’t believe me, Lemon Dad, you’ll have to evaluate it objectively.”
Ling Meng thought about the important thing the producer told him about before he set off. He quickly got up and hurried to leave: “Excuse me, slipping away.”
“Don’t do that, I haven’t sung yet,” Bo Luo leaned forward and grabbed his sleeves, not letting Ling Meng go, “Pineapple, jackfruit (boluo, boluomi), pineapple, jackfruit, take me there, ya, take me there~~~”
[Lemon Dad: Drop dead8.]
The third interview was Avocado, the Big Fiend of Team FRUIT.
“Hello, everyone, I’m Team FRUIT’s Avocado.”
“Ah, it seems the black powder only have one question for you: Avocado is widely regarded as the worst fruit to eat, please quit the fruit world.”
Niu YouGuo rolled up his sleeves: “Coach! Close the door! Don’t let him get away!”
Ling Meng: ???
Ling Meng: !!!
[Lemon Dad: Drop dead again.]
Ling Meng had a lucky break on the fourth pass.
“I’ll let you introduce yourself.”
“I’m FRUIT’s Banana.”
“Your black powder wants to ask you: When can you spoil powder?”
“When the powder brush the cat courtyards.”
Ling Meng: ?
“But you never stream, right?”
“Right.”
Ling Meng: ……
[Xiang God: Insane Suggestion]
“Please let the other pro players, especially Shan Yao, make a living.”
“Because he gave you an e-sports chair?”
Ling Meng: ???
“No! This is the black powder message, I’m just in charge of reading it!”
“The sponsors have just sent over a set of routers.”
Ling Meng: ???
“It’s very easy to use.”
Ling Meng: ????
“Do you want it?”
“No, we’re recording the program right now!” Ling Meng turned to the director for help, “This bit will be edited out later, right?”
The director showed him an “OK” sign off-camera.
Later, not only was it not edited out, but also in the center of the screen was a message of “SURPRISE!”.
Ling Meng: “As the richest player in the league, if you were dissatisfied with a new update, would you buy the game development company to force changes?”
Xiang Jiao: “Directly buying out the planning would be faster.”
Ling Meng: “How many years does someone need to be single and practice to reach the same speed as you?”
Xiang Jiao: “A lifetime.”
Ling Meng: “Can you still remember your Weibo password?”
Jiang Xiao: “Forgot.”
Ling Meng: “Your alien faction was no match for just an anchor.”
Xiang Jiao: “The anchor also had good skills, such as……”
His eyes stayed on Ling Meng for a few seconds: “Forget about it.”
Ling Meng: ???
“But he sings well.”
“I can only weakly ask, do you think I’m better at singing than Pineapple-chan?”
“Are.”
Ling Meng: …….
[Lemon Dad: Ultimate Drop Dead]
The video ended here, the ending credits were accompanied by a few clips.
Ling Meng: “Thank you, Xiang God, for the interview.”
Xiang Jiao: “Router?”
Ling Meng: “……I thank you.”
Shan Yao: “I heard someone converted Shan Zha to FRUIT?”
Ling Meng: “……Excuse me, slipping away.”
Shan Yao: “Never mind.”
Ling Meng: ??
Shan Yao: “Xiang Cai! Come say hi.”
A small version of Xiang Jiao swung through the door, saw the camera inside, and left again.
Ling Meng: ?????
Shan Yao: “He’s aspiring to beat his Ge, so I gave him our youth assessment, he’ll be here next year. Please tell Banana, we VEGE won’t make it easy for them to win the championship every time.”
Bo Luo: La~ La~ Lalalalala~ Lalalala~ Don’t be sad about the end.
Mystery Man: “As the man with the most black powder, do you have anything to say to the black powder?”
Ling Meng: “Uh, just, there are always periods when children are rebellious, Daddy can tolerate your little mischief.”
Mystery Man: “Okay, thank you.”
Ling Meng: “Wait, who are you? Why haven’t I seen you before?”
Mystery Man: “Hello, everyone. I am ANTELOPE of Team ANIMAL. I’m just here to buy soy sauce9. ‘Pale Soul OL’ is so fun, Lang-Ge is so handsome.”
Ling Meng: …..Director, there’s an outside station here that’s brushing a small ad.
Mystery Man: Excuse me! Slipping away.
This episode of “I’m Not Black Powder” was unsurprisingly a huge success. In one hour, the number of clicks was at record high and the barrage was also an unprecedented scene for Station B.
Under the program producer’s blog, a million people wrote letters in blood asking for Lemon Dad to be made permanent, which was also brushed by the show’s previously popular reporters.
There was also an evil force coming from the powder of Xiang God. They had never seen Xiang Jiao say so much on any show. Of course, they were determined to keep Lemon Dad who could pry open the idol’s golden mouth.
The producer also sent their thoughts secretly to Ling Meng on WeChat, even boasting that there were not many talents in the Galaxy Circle like him who brought their own entertainment value. ‘Our bottom-of-the-ratings show would have been cut off if it hadn’t been saved by Lemon Daddy.’
Ling Meng: ???
Ling Meng’s mouth said he wouldn’t look or watch, but that night, hiding under the covers, he secretly brushed it on his phone several times. When Shan Zhu found him in the morning, he was almost done with the barrage and the comments.
With his slightly bloodshot eyes from staying up to watch the video, 30% hesitant, 70% sure: “I think I know what I want to do in the future.”
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Footnotes:
1. click-through-rate (CTR, 点击率): statistic for how many people click on your videos after seeing the thumbnail out of all the people who see the thumbnail (typical for youtube is 5-10%) ↩
2. board the pirate ship (登贼船): sign on with a dubious activity ↩
3. the mouth lies but the body is honest (口嫌体正直): reference to a Japanese saying that your physical behavior reflects the true nature of your heart ↩
4. Sao (嫂): term of address for elder brother’s wife, short for saozi ↩
5. reference to a meme based on a news broadcast about an electric scooter being stolen, the guy who stole it touched people’s hearts when he was interviewed & said he’d rather be in prison than unemployed ↩
6. Qianbei (前辈): older generation, senior; houbei (后辈): younger generation, junior ↩
7. 长江后浪推前浪，前浪死在沙滩上: idiom, the new is constantly replacing the old; each new generation exceeds the previous ↩
8. drop dead (扑街): slang, means literally lying on the road; also slang from when a character falls to the ground dead in a game; also Cantonese slang for damn/bastard ↩
9. just here to buy soy sauce (打酱油): sarcastic slang, to not get involved/to keep out of other’s business ↩
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Xiang Cai (向才): Coriander/Cilantro (香菜)
